I have enjoyed the hectic media buzz surrounding the widespread condemnation of ACORN - the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now - workers over the last few weeks. The travesty against pimping that transpired in these videos should forever place shame on the houses of every pimp in the country, if not the world.
It is absolutely stunning that James E. O'Keefe III should ever be considered a pimp in America. Gangly and reeking of privilege, O'Keefe looks like he was made in the dork factory to be sold for full retail price in the jerk store. The fact that this shmendrik successfully masqueraded as a pimp in so many of America's great cities speaks very poorly to our nationwide ability to spot fakeness.
All O'Keefe had to do in order to convince a few dozen middle-aged women across the country that he was a real pimp was to dress up as if he were going to a Pimps and Hoes frat party.
The long fur coat and cane are extravagant but essential to being a clichéd fake pimp, but O'Keefe went the extra mile with the black suit and pimp hat.
Hannah Giles accompanied O'Keefe on these videos, a healthy girl with brawny shoulders who was clearly dressed much more like a random bar slut than a full-blown professional whore. That numerous ACORN workers would tell Giles to start a small business roughly called Lady of the Night, LLC speaks to a promising future of budding young entrepreneurs with a zeal for old-fashioned capitalism.
However, these women should have employed other pimp stereotypes to sniff out the hidden camera operation. For instance, O'Keefe had no neck tattoo and lacked a pimp cup or goblet of any kind. Bishop Don Magic Juan has not issued a public statement yet, but he is rumored to be pondering a class-action lawsuit against O'Keefe for falsely impersonating pimposity.
Could we be losing our edge as a society, or has this been the final confirmation that profiling of any kind has been successfully rooted out of our bureaucratic government training? Tanned and toned white sex workers with impeccable posture do not enter many government offices seeking tax advice.
Stereotypes are our Indian knowledge, passed down on Facebook - where Giles and O'Keefe planned their video expose through e-mails beginning in May. The insurgency journalism practiced here in a symbiotic and profitable system with talk radio and Internet purveyors is an excellent blueprint for any media hopefuls in our digital age.
Clandestine video recordings of pretty much anything always pique some natural human curiosity, but the sublimely campy performances turned in by a pair of young conservative firebrands on the ACORN video are ultimately troubling. Our own perceptions about this "unique line of business," dulled by a glorification of pimp stereotypes in popular culture, are so tarnished that literally anyone can claim to be a pimp these days.
Pimps are a victim of their own media success, but now they must chart a new course in fashion and style.
Somewhere in America, a once-proud pimp doffs his chinchilla-face hat and hangs his head in shame.
Tommy Maple is a graduate student in international communications. His column appears on Thursdays.
