Don't vote.
I mean, statistically only 20 percent of the Student Body votes each election, so chances are if you are reading this you A) are a student and therefore B) will not be voting for your student senators. But hey, it isn't that big of a deal. Voting is overrated anyway.
To begin with, you wouldn't get to vote for me. In my mind, that is the only legitimate reason for voting, and since I am not up for re-election this cycle, you should probably stay at home and not risk the barrage of "Have you voted yet?! Well either way, let me tell you about the ____ Party! We advocate for students!" that awaits you.
But to be fair, people often pretend there are other reasons to vote besides the fact that I am on the ballot (crazy, I know!). Let us now deconstruct the other "reasons" to vote.
The most common reason to vote is "It's your money."
Yes, we all pay into Student Government's $14.4 million pot of money with the Activity and Service Fee we pay per credit hour. But as a student at our esteemed university, you probably don't use any of the services the money goes to.
I know that I for one never work out at any of the Rec Sports facilities or play intramurals. I wouldn't be caught dead eating at the Reitz Union on any day of the week that ends in "Y." And I can look past the fact that I am a member of several SG-funded student organizations. Besides, Bright Futures probably pays your A&S Fee, and we all know how I feel about that.
What about the fact that SG officials have directly fought for our rights regarding alcohol regulations off campus, worked to repeal the rave ordinance that forces bars to close at 2 a.m. and are working to create a 24-hour study facility on campus? Psh, I say.
Again, most of these things are irrelevant.
I feel confident saying absolutely no UF students have ever engaged in a game of beer pong, thus would not have been threatened by the student conduct changes UF administrators were pushing last year.
I've never been to a crush party downtown or at Midtown, let alone drank at any of the bars until last call at 2 a.m. And I don't study… ever.
Finally some deranged political science students claim we need to vote because we can actually affect real change here at UF.
To this I respond, nay nay, my child. We all know that Student Senate is just made up of one big, happy political party.
There are no minority parties, debates on bills or important resolutions passed each night.
Student Body President Jordan Johnson may have a full vote on the Board of Governors, but who cares?
The Board of Governors is just the highest governing body of UF. I get to vote on who I think will win in my fantasy football league each week - that's more or less the same thing, right?
Go ahead, don't vote. Clearly SG here at UF doesn't affect your life.
Kyle Robisch is a political science and economics junior. His column appears on Fridays.
