With the second week under your belts, you're probably feeling a little fatigued.
This is understandable. We at the Editorial Board feel your pain, but would like to remind you that the acceptable period for mourning is over - fall is in full swing. Drop/Add is over. So like a claustrophobic who made the poor decision to ride Epcot's Mission: Space, you're locked in for the full ride, whether you decide you like it or not (or bang against the door screaming to be let out, ruining the ride for the rest of the people in your capsule).
Bad memories.
And, if you've already made it through this heady introduction, it looks like you're also locked in for this week's edition of…
And now to point to someone who is having a better week than you: our favorite (we only know one) former mullet-rocking, hockey-playing impregnator - Levi Johnston. We don't know how much he got paid to write a tell-all on Sarah Palin for Vanity Fair, but from the snippets we've seen from it about late-night Taco Bell runs and reality TV marathons, it's mad compelling.
However, for taking his 15 minutes of fame to a new high (or low, whatever), we'd like to cast a hey-at-least-you-taught-us-it's-possible-to-feel-sympathy-for-Sarah-Palin DART at Levi Johnston. We understand that money can be tempting, but for the love of all that is holy, think about your kid and her mother. (Coming to newsstands Sept. 8.)
Someone else who's having a better week than you is reigning table tennis champion Wang Hao. The 25-year-old was banned from dating until national team officials finally set him up with other Chinese table tennis player, Peng Luyang. We wonder if all his training and skill cultivation wasn't an elaborate ploy to get the government to set him up with a girl, but if it was, more power to him for achieving his goals.
For going to the most extreme lengths to get a girl, ever, we'd like to send a your-level-of-dedication-to-getting-laid-is-second-only-to-Mario-in-Super-Mario-Bros. LAUREL to Peng Luyang. Although, considering this is probably just China using him to breed the ultimate ping-pong protege, Luyang might have been better off skipping those years he threw away in a specialized ping-pong academy and just applying for a VISA and a spot on "The Pick-Up Artist." But hey, whatever works.
To throw some positivity into the mix, we'd like to send a LAUREL to those involved in the new coalition to prevent recurrences of the Tau Epsilon Phi and Pi Kappa Phi fraternity hazing incidents. Hazing is bad in most cases. However, we do wonder if the last case of hazing at UF was that bad. We think a second coalition should be formed to promote Sigma Lambda Gamma sorority's alleged "hazing" scenario, which involved restrictions on Facebook, make-up and fast food. "Real" hazing, though, is no good.
We already lauded SG last week for responding to student outcry and re-instating The New York Times readership program on campus. This time, however, we'd like to send a but-it-only-took-you-90-letters-to-the-editor-and-constant-takeover-of-the-opinions-pages-to-do-something DART at the Student Government officials who sometimes treat this paper like it's the now-defunct Juicy Campus.
We'll also send out a LAUREL to our readers who had to put up with officials complaing about complaints, or whatever they were doing. And to think that things will only get worse with SG elections on the horizon…
We appreciate getting The New York Times back, but we also appreciate getting the last word.
That's all for this week. Enjoy watching Florida play some school no one's ever heard of on Saturday. Go Gators?
