BRANDT WILLIAMSON, Avenue Writer
The threesome is not solely for sleazy porn films or late night programming on FX.
It is an eye-opening act of playful intimacy and raucous abandon that college students should have no shame in aspiring to. Provided, of course, you work well in groups.
However, there are some things you need to know if you want to leap into the nearest queen-sized bed set for three.
Like any other sex act, an essential aspect of the threesome is whom you do it with. Plenty of couples look to "spice up" a mundane sex life by inviting company. This is not a good idea.
If your relationship is already in dire need of a fix-up, adding another person is not going to provide any reasonable solution - unless said person is a relationship counselor.
If your relationship is intact, a threesome is still risky business.
Guys, despite your fantasies, your girlfriend is unlikely to invite another girl into the bedroom. If she agrees, be careful. A bout of jealousy may rear its ugly head while you're rearing that other girl.
Or worse, you could end up being that guy whose girlfriend left him because the other girl offered better sex. The threesome is best left to singles.
OK, so you're single, now whom can you do it with? Don't do it with your friends, unless there's an excessive amount of booze involved and the three of you coincidentally stumble from the bars and into bed. In this case, prepare for an awkward morning.
The hook-up buddy may be your best bet. You're unattached to this person, unless it's 2:30 a.m. and you have a case of insomnia.
Another solid bet is coordinating efforts with people you don't know. Hit the bars, meet those special someones, and in the words of "Cruel Intentions'" Sarah Michelle Gellar, "introduce them to your world of sex, drugs and…what else do you do?"
Be cautious where you decide to do your taboo deeds. You don't have to be decadent and prop your undeniably classy ass up on a glass sink of a bathroom in a hotel's presidential suite, but the handicapped stall of a bathroom in Perkin's will not suffice.
One of your partners' homes is the safest and least expensive setting and you won't have to be the one washing the sheets afterward, either.
The threesome is supposed to be fun; it's not meant to be a shy affair. Take along a bottle of champagne, or three, and lower your inhibitions ensuring an all-out experience complete with giggling, licking, grabbing, biting and scratching.
As with any group effort, remember to share. Don't get too passionate with one member of your team and ignore the other then you'd just have a twosome with a voyeur standing in the corner of the room. Creepy.
Men, if your small soiree consists of you, a woman and another man, don't be afraid to get a little physical with both. If word leaks of your slightly homoerotic nighttime activities, no one will believe your denials of getting friendly with your same-sex playmate anyway.
When the games are over, take the experience for what it was. There is no need to be best, incestuous friends, but there doesn't need to be an unspoken awkwardness either.
Lastly, don't forget to be discreet - nobody wants word of his or her indiscretions to be broadcasted across the university.
After all, Juicy Campus no longer exists for a reason.
