Every summer we realize that another year has passed. We inch closer and closer to that terrible moment when we have to move beyond UF and figure out something to do with our lives.
In the short run the answer is difficult. We've all played that game. In the long run the answer is easy. Work for the government. Why? Pensions, of course!
The gap between pensions and benefits between the public and private sectors is jaw-dropping at best, criminal at worst. Private sector employees are overwhelmingly put on retirement plans called "Defined-Contribution" plans. Think 401(k). The employee puts in however much he or she chooses, invests it accordingly and rides the waves of the market.
Government employees, on the other hand, usually get "Defined-Benefit" plans. Think pensions. When they retire, they get a paycheck every month based on how much time they put in and their salary. Defined-Benefit plans used to be the norm for everyone. Then the private sector learned that these were, in fact, too good to be true. Pension plans helped drive companies like GM (which spent $103 billion in pensions over the last 15 years) into bankruptcy, and the government had to step in to save them. The Pension Benefit Guarantee Corporation, which assumes the pension plans of failed companies, is now running a multi-billion dollar deficit and may face total liabilities of more than $100 billion.
Does anyone else smell a bailout?
Sadly, government pension plans are in even worse shape. According to USA Today, government pension plans have about $4.7 trillion in unfunded liabilities - more than the entire US government (even under Obama) spends in a year.
But the great thing about the government plan is that it is backed by statute, unlike private plans, which are subject to market forces. When trust funds run out, taxpayers come in. The government has a grossly unfair, uncompetitive advantage over the private sector, and in recent years public employees have been making, on average, 42 percent more in compensation than private employees.
Some public employees are even getting star-studded retirements. A 42-year-old police chief in Delray Beach, for instance, recently retired with a $65,000 per year salary and full health care. He subsequently took a new job as a police chief and continued working.
The system is wrong, granted. But under the Obamunist regime government it is not getting any smaller. If the government grew under Reagan, we can only imagine where it will be in four years. Add that to the fact the unions have a stranglehold on almost every level of government, and you can be sure that dream of a cozy government retirement at age 50 isn't going anywhere.
You could do the right thing and fight the system and vote for people who will bring back fiscal responsibility. But that takes so much effort. The much easier option would be to become a bureaucrat, sit behind a desk frustrating the hell out of people for 30 years and retire on the taxpayers' dime in Guadalajara.
Don't worry; there's no shame in this. After all, 25 million public employees can't be wrong.
Johnathan Lott is a is a political science and economics junior.
