England. It is a country I've always had a soft spot for - I consider myself something of an Anglophile, and when I was younger, I always wanted to move there.
For most of us, it probably still conjures images of Arthurian legend; one pictures a verdant land filled with lords and ladies, royalty and privilege, pomp and circumstance.
It just seems like such a cool place, doesn't it? Just foreign enough to be thrilling but without that damnable hassle of having to learn a language.
Well, something else about England struck me as of late, and as the second installment in my ongoing series about wacky world statesmen, I would like to discuss a man who can only be described as a throwback.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and the husband of Queen Elizabeth II, has been working tirelessly for many years to bring us all back to a less politically correct age.
Some of his gemlike utterances are so shocking and so controversial that one immediately wishes to tap Howard Stern on the shoulder and say "See? That's how it's done!"
In 1999, Philip found himself in Cardiff, attending some sort of gathering for a group of deaf young people. There was a local school's steel band nearby, and the cacophonous racket that the band made obviously irritated Philip. Drawing on the sort of regal tact that would please the ghost of Queen Victoria, he addressed the group of deaf children, telling them, "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf."
Shocking? Just a touch. But, then again, I always did hear the English royalty was known for tact…
Prince Philip's skills with children do not end there, though. In 2001, his highness visited Salford University, possibly to give a talk on how much the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has helped him in his social life. While there, he met a 13-year-old schoolboy by the name of Andrew Adams.
Young Adams had, for many years, had his heart set on being an astronaut. Imagine it - a young man, firmly sure of his dreams and nothing but excited at the opportunity to meet an honest-to-goodness prince. He told Philip, who then proceeded to tell the boy that - pshaw - he was clearly too fat to be an astronaut.
Probably stung, huh? But, then again, I always did hear the English royalty was known for sensitivity…
A final example: Philip was in Scotland in 2002, where he met a driving instructor. "How," inquired the ever-curious Philip, "do you manage to keep the natives sober long enough to get them through the test?"
I can only imagine the stunned look he received in return. But, then again, I always did hear the English Royalty loathed cultural stereotypes…
Philip is 87 years old and still, it seems, sharp as a tack. I can only imagine what he'll come up with next year…
Eric Chianese is an English junior. His column appears weekly.
