While the U.S. economy continues to sing a sour note, one sector of industry has left business owners with a sweet taste in their mouths.
According to an article in The New York Times, candy sales across the country have skyrocketed in the wake of the current financial crisis.
From inexpensive chocolates to classics such as Mary Janes and Gummy Bears, the masses have turned to sugary delights for an afternoon pick-me-up.
Most surprising is the revelation that consumers are adding candy to their shopping lists, rather than the usual impulse buy of a Reese's Fastbreak bar screaming "eat me" at the checkout line.
If Americans can boost their spirits with a Snickers bar chased with a handful of Nerds, more power to them.
Though the Editorial Board tends to parade the fact that we all belong to AlterEgo Fitness and keep tabs on each other's diets, we do concede candy remains commonplace around the Alligator newsroom.
Hell, you should have seen the way our eyes lit up just after Valentine's Day, when an arrival of leftover chocolates resulted in nothing short of a feeding frenzy.
Rumor has it that a vending machine chock full of sweets used (ahem) to exist at the Alligator back in the day until parents started to complain about having to buy new wardrobes for their budding writer or editor, thanks to an ever-expanding waistline.
Excuse us while we, uh, go hit up the Kangaroo for, umm, "bottled water."
Sigh, you caught us.