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Sunday, September 08, 2024

I am not about to resort to the name-calling that Spanky from the Little Rascals, or a certain journalism-and-German junior at UF for that matter, would employ as his first response to a female threatening his self-proclaimed territory.

For, unlike a 7-year-old prepubescent male, I see a disturbing significance in referring to the gym, or any public space, as divided between a "female" and a "good" side. Yet, before I delve into the absurdity of these "unwritten" rules of the gym that Joshua Nederveld tells of so confidently, I must bring to light the further implications of Emily Congdon's prompt response.

Emily, while your endeavor to denounce Nederveld's dismissal of women's benching as "chauvinistic" is noteworthy, it still perpetuates the ideal that predominant male ability in the gym is the touchstone to which women should aspire. Your surefire praise of "plenty of other [girls] who squat just as much as most guys" and denouncement of "2.5 pound-lifting, nail-breaking girls" as "annoying" is detrimental to your claim from a feminist perspective; are you, too, suggesting that women should just go to the gym to obtain some almighty brute strength?

Can they not just go to release some endorphins, tone, relieve stress, etc? In addition, how dare you fall into the trap of classifying women as "pretty girls" and "tomboys?" And how dare you call men "gorillas?"

Surely, you cannot be so simple-minded as to disregard the complexities behind gender identity and assume that "pretty girls" have to lift 2.5 pounds while "tomboys" bench-press. In your response, which you likely deemed a heroic, wrathful calling out of patriarchy's connotation of woman as deviant, you actually managed to maintain Nederveld's negative stigma attached to woman as "the angry girl," or the "dollish RecSports girl with platinum blonde highlights" and other mythical figments of femininity that classify women as inferior.

It would be very easy to call Nederveld a "chauvinistic, pea-for-a-brain, wannabe meathead" as Congdon has so powerfully done, yet I know that this is just what he wants.

Nederveld, your "unwritten rules" can be applied to all aspects of society, and yet I fear that they will soon come to show you just where you really fit into them. I see that you are a journalism major -you, the hypermasculine macho male who can lift more than a woman, you with your high-demand degree will undoubtedly be the breadwinner of the family to boost that tiny ego of yours.

Excuse me, is that an unwritten rule you're breaking?

My legs may not be slender and I may not own a fire-red bust-boosting one-piece, but I am a lifeguard who frequently hits the gym and lifts "silly" weights so that in the unlikely event that you drown while "people-watching," I can pull you out of the water and save your life.

Are you certified, Mr. Fitness?

Oh, Nederveld, the world is chock-full of common misconceptions that you have been unfortunately blinded into believing are common truths. I am happy to say that unlike your unlucky counterparts you will likely never be branded as "effeminate," for heaven-forbid your half-naked, sweaty strong-holds on your male workout partners would ever be taken as anything but upholding the highest essence of hetero-normativity.

The only value behind your astute observations, which you generously deem paralleling those of Jane Goodall, is that they reveal the nonsensical nature of the "good" side of the gym and that women surely need not be intimidated by benching to their heart's content. Speaking of Goodall, for your information she studied chimpanzees, not gorillas. Funny how you pride yourself in your unparalleled recognition of the differences between male and female gym-goers yet simultaneously, journalism major, fail to distinguish one entire species of ape from another.

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Pray, take a moment from your monumental "revolution" and try to distinguish it from a pathetic act of cowardice. (That was a trick statement, I know it's actually impossible). To reference your anti-90s, anti-Kelly Clarkson godsend that is AC/DC, "To those without a cock, we saluuuute you!"

Kelly A. Korman is an English sophomore.

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