On Sunday, the "iron man" of Venezuela, President Hugo Chavez, won an electoral coup and passed a referendum removing term limits. He will now run the country until he is defeated in an election - which, if his thuggish manner is any indication, could be a very long time.
Chavez and his supporters make the claim that only he can successfully continue the project of converting Venezuela into a socialist state; his opponents claim that he seeks to turn Venezuela into a replica of Castro's Cuba. For good or ill, the country seems destined to move in the direction of a Stalinist "cult of personality." I'll leave the political judgments to those so inclined - instead, what I want to do is give a brief rundown of some of the greatest hits of this controversial and comical figure.
Chavez, always cartoonishly eloquent, is probably most widely known for his 2006 outburst about former President George W. Bush during a speech to the U.N. General Assembly. During his speech, the day following a speech by Bush, Chavez told the assembled dignitaries, "The devil came here yesterday, and it smells of sulfur still today." The fact that this was met with wild applause is neither here nor there - the fact of that matter is that Chavez, in what can only be described as Paris Hilton-level statesmanship, was willing to go there.
I always did hear that Venezuelan politics were known for their sense of decorum.
Another of my favorite Chavez incidents involves his fantastically sexist comments regarding former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. After Rice called him a "challenge to democracy" in Latin America, Chavez responded by going on his acclaimed weekly talk show (creatively named "Hello President!") and, addressing Rice, warning her, "Don't mess with me, girl!" He tied it all together by blowing Condi a kiss, which I'm certain had her blushing.
Whether this was latent sexism or the political equivalent of playground pigtail pulling, I can't say. Maybe "El Presidente" has a bit of a crush? I always did hear that Venezuelan politics were known for stellar sexual harassment education.
Finally, there was the incident at the 2007 Ibero-American summit. Chavez was engaged in a heated (I'm beginning to notice a trend) exchange with Spain's Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero. During the conversation he called former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar "a fascist" because of his economic policies. He then continued to interrupt the prime minister as he tried to answer. In a fit of frustration, the normally mild-mannered King Juan Carlos I leaned forward and asked Chavez, "Why don't you shut up?" Chavez did not, in fact, shut up, and the king stood up and left the event.
I did always hear that Venezuelan politics was known for - just forget it. We can probably agree by now that Chavez is wholly lacking in statesman's graces.
This list of Chavez's Greatest Hits is by no means exhaustive, but it is suggestive of what we have to look forward to. I, for one, am overjoyed at the prospect of watching Venezuela's firebrand bluster and swagger across the world stage for years to come.
Eric Chianese is an English junior. His column appears weekly.
