From marijuana grow houses to teachers wielding weapons, absurdity runs rampant on the North Central Florida crime scene.
The latest incident of devious debauchery stems from a routine traffic stop after a police officer smelled pot emanating from a vehicle on Tuesday.
Expecting to discover rolling papers and a dime bag, we can safely assume the discovery of thousands of dollars worth of stolen goods left the officer nothing short of wide-eyed.
According to a Gainesville Sun article, the driver and passenger currently being held may be the masterminds behind a string of recent robberies in the area.
Nothing short of a pawn shop on wheels, the vehicle contained a handgun, multiple watches and assorted jewelry, not to mention a whole mess of credit cards and licenses.
Among the most outlandish items in the treasure chest? A Cox Cable remote.
The Editorial Board wonders why the two men in the vehicle were driving around Gainesville with a stolen remote control.
Maybe they enjoyed sitting outside houses discreetly changing the channel on unsuspecting TV watchers.
With the click of a button, a seemingly innocent viewing of "The L Word" can quickly turn into the latest edition of "SportsCenter."
Or perhaps they simply had the best interest of the now-remote-less person in mind.
Nothing like burning a few calories by getting off the couch to change the channel after a five-hour marathon of "Bromance."