Oh yeah, baby. Harder! Yes, yes, yes!
Come on, I know you're familiar with this. Either you're guilty of screaming it or you've heard it. As college students, our living quarters tend to cause occasional issues with loud sex.
There are the squeaks, the thrusts, the moans and always the screams; but with endless amounts of hormones flying around Gainesville and far too much alcohol available, it's a lot harder to keep your pants on than you think.
And I've realized, from both personal and hearsay experiences, that people having sex just don't care how loud they are and who hears them. It's as if the bedroom is a sanctuary where what you say-or scream-cannot and will not be used against you.
It's rarely even brought up to someone how loud they are in bed. Hinting at it is forbidden territory and causes far too awkward of a situation to get stuck in.
So, with no way around loud sex, how do you deal with it? Simply putting up with the eeh-uh-eeh-uh of your roommate's old bedsprings leaves you annoyed and sleepless.
The only solution? Embrace it.
Loud sex can serve many different purposes, both good and bad. First and foremost, it's no secret that noisy sex is pretty much always annoying. You're just sitting in your room trying to watch lectures when all of a sudden the pencil holder and picture frames on your desk start to shake because the bed next door is hitting the wall a wee bit too hard.
And it's even worse when you're trying to sleep-either in the morning or at night-and the thrusting from the apartment above you keeps you wide awake regardless of the midterm you have the next morning.
But almost worse than being annoying, cacophony in the bedroom can be overwhelmingly awkward.
Imagine this, you're in bed with a friend-with-benefits, but the two of you have yet to do the dirty deed. This friend's roommates, however, are way ahead of you and you've got rooms to the left, right and above you going at it while you and your friend lay together silently questioning whether or not you should be doing it too.
There's no way to pretend it's not happening, and it just puts you in an uncomfortable situation.
And what if you're in the dorms with no preference of furniture, which leaves you stuck with-yup, you guessed it-bunk beds. I don't think horrifyingly awkward even begins to describe what to do when your bunkmate mounts her man in the top bunk shaking the entire thing as if you put a quarter in a vibrating motel cot.
But, like I said, embracing these situations is the only way out. And if you try to look at it differently, it can actually become quite an amusing issue.
You first have to think about how fun loud sex is. Nobody wants to hold anything back in the bedroom. So do your best not to blame anybody who might be making a little more noise than you'd prefer.
And by embracing the moans and screams of your roommate or neighbor, I don't mean joining in on them or mimicking (we don't want to spoil someone else's fun), make light of them either by yourself or with your friends.
If you're in the living room watching TV and your roommate's going at it in the next room, call a friend and tell them what's up. I bet you'll be laughing within seconds.
And if you're stuck in bed with a hook-up and you guys aren't doing it, but the couple in the next room is, laugh about it. Giggling releases any unwanted tension and the awkwardness will quickly vanish.
But if you're actually overly annoyed with the loud sex of someone in your vicinity, your headphones are your best bet. And if it's a persistent annoyance, you might want to invest in a loud fan to drown out the noise.
That being said, those of you who are causing all these noise violations need to be aware of a few things too. Nobody is going to blame you for being loud in bed, but just keep in mind that everyone can hear you.
And do your best to keep the noise level down if your roommate is recently single, there is no need to rub it in someone's face that you're getting some and they're not. They already know this and don't need to hear it.
So do your best to find the humor in awkward, loud sex situations and try not to be unnecessarily loud. After all, there's no reason to be afraid of things that go bump in the night.
