Here's a joke: What's the only thing former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle and notorious gangster Al Capone have in common?
Neither one seems to care about paying their taxes!
In all seriousness, however, why can't these public officials who President Barack Obama has been appointing to various posts just pay their taxes?
Daschle, who was up for the position of secretary of Health and Human Services (and who could have had a lead role in implementing Obama's sacred health care reform), was forced to withdraw his name from consideration.
In a humorous aside, Daschle's unpaid taxes were against a car and driver furnished for him by a firm he represents in his capacity as a consultant.
Timothy Geithner, the man who became the new Treasury secretary, watched his reputation wither as similar unpaid tax problems were brought to light about him.
Then, on Wednesday, in what can only be described as a Senatorial sigh-and-eye-roll, Obama's Labor secretary designee, Hilda Solis, was given a pass and recommended for confirmation despite her husband's unpaid taxes.
This is getting hilarious.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and rant about how failing to pay taxes is unpatriotic, and so the Democrats must be traitors. As much as I admire Fox News and Rush Limbaugh (oh and trust me, that's a lot), I just can't bring myself to emulate them in this vein.
I will say, however, that when you are a public official, you're probably enjoying quite a few remunerative benefits from your role and connections - it shouldn't be this painful for you to fork over some tax money.
If Daschle, Geithner and the rest of the "No Taxation-ers" really find it so vulgar to return some of their cash to Uncle Sam, they should try assuaging their anger by thinking of all the schools that can be built - or some other equally cheery lie.
The recent outbreak of this tax allergy among public officials is indicative of a graver problem - Washington's love of money. I don't particularly think this is a surprise to anyone. I, however, would like to go one step further than the usual "throw-the-bums-out!" rhetoric and offer a truly unique and Utopian solution for modern times.
In the world I see, this great democracy of ours would be run not by professional politicians, but instead by the Joe Six-Pack commoners who - at least - pay their taxes (oddly enough, Sarah Palin would still qualify for public service.).
Roles of public office, from president on down to comptroller, will be "awarded" in a similar manner as jury duty.
Somewhere a big computer randomizes names from across the nation and - just like that - we have our new elected officials.
These officials would make only the same amount of money they were making in their previous professions and enjoy no perks of travel or gifts of home remodeling.
Believe me, these individuals would be eager to resign from public service. At the end of their terms, if a referendum says they did a good job, they never have to serve again.
If not, they're back for round two.
And, on their way out the door, a large bouncer would turn them upside down and shake them - anything that falls out can go to fund the next stimulus package.
Hard to imagine, I admit, but a man can dream…
Eric Chianese is an English junior. His column appears weekly.
