In a true act of holiday heroism, a Sacramento, Calif., man valiantly defended holiday guests from a knife-wielding, drunk neighbor using only a giant candy cane.
The drunk man was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, but the candy cane swashbuckler was not arrested because he acted in self-defense.
We think it's definitely a good thing the neighborhood defender wasn't arrested. Imagine the jailroom flack he would catch for beating someone down with a giant piece of fake holiday candy.
Could the police confiscate a giant candy cane and file it as evidence without cracking a smile? We doubt it.
It's lame these kinds of stories only seem to happen in some distant part of the country.
We never get to cover the idiotic yet hilarious in our own backyard.
It would be nice if someone in Gainesville successfully thwarted a gas station robbery using only a Butterfinger, a pack of Magnums and a hat emblazoned with "352." At least then we wouldn't have to rely on California to provide us with the laughter we need to get through the day.
We aren't advocating a sudden increase in violent crimes or people taking the law into their own hands; we just wouldn't mind seeing our community up the ante as far as creative self-defense goes.
Forget running inside to grab a butcher knife - you don't have to be Jamie Lee Curtis. Next time, go "Step Brothers" on an attacker and wallop him (or her) with your 10-speed.
We realize we may be asking a bit much, but we want our community to stay safe without sacrificing creativity.
