To kick things off this week, we'd like to hand a this-is-a-tradition-we-can-stand-by LAUREL to the Great Underwear Dash 8. We can't believe this thing has persisted for eight separate installations, but we're glad it has. Our only real concern is, if the Undie Dash maintains its current momentum, original Dashers will return in 30 years, strip to their unmentionables and participate in the GUD 38.
If some of you do plan to dash as 50-something alumni, please be sure to keep running in the meantime. We don't want the police Tasering a group of half-naked old people - think of all the jiggling.
Next up, we'd like to send an aren't-gas-prices-bad-enough-already DART to the jerk who decided to spread a rumor about a gas shortage. We don't know if you were honestly concerned or if you wanted to create some extra weekend business for a Gainesville gas station. The only good to come from the rumor was we all decided we weren't going to drive last weekend, so we stayed home and partied. Thankfully, there was no rumor of a Natty Light shortage.
Once again, we'd like to send a we've-come-a-long-way-baby LAUREL to George Starke Jr., the first black student admitted to UF. Thank you for breaking a cruel barrier 50 years ago and changing our lives for the better.
Now we'd like to toss a we-are-voting-Republican-because-Paris-Hilton-says-Sarah-Palin's-glasses-are-hot DART to anyone who focused on the Alaskan's eyewear rather than her resume. The Editorial Board isn't trying to influence anybody's vote, regardless of accusations against us. We just want to make sure people are paying attention to issues and not whether the candidates wear white after Labor Day.
Finally, we've got a D&L doubleheader for you.
We'd like to send a where-did-you-all-come-from LAUREL to the UF student body for an above-average turnout for Student Senate party interviewing this week. It's always good to see a constituency show enough initiative to give the idea they truly care who represents them.
On the other hand, we are chucking a we-smell-something-fishy-and-possibly-infuriating DART to the Facebook message encouraging student organizations to register under the Gator Party to receive more SG funding. If it turns out that SG functions on a foundation of bribery, then we'll rescind the student body's above-mentioned laurel because compelled participation isn't participation at all - it's just following directions.
Being de-laureled puts you immediately into the D&L Hall of Shame, where you get to hang out with Andrew "Don't Dart me, Bro" Meyer. We know you don't want to be there, and we don't want to put you there. We sincerely hope these shady dealings are 100 percent false.
Go Gators, and have a safe weekend.
