College is where many people find their sexuality. But what if a couple decides to have a relationship without sex? Can it be done?
Of course it can, but it is hard.
Experienced partners might have trouble adapting to a minimal sex environment, but some people may surprise you.
Last year, I went celibate to search my soul. I was trying to find myself, and I felt sex would interfere. It was unnecessarily added stress that would derail my goal.
While searching, I spent some time getting to know a guy, but sex still wasn't an option. We would kiss, hug and do all that high school stuff, but I could never just say "no" and talk about my celibacy. And when our intimate sessions would reach a high-sexed level quickly, I would have to stop the action before we actually had sex.
The sex, or lack thereof, became an issue during one late-night escapade in his room. We were fooling around in his bed when I had to stop him. I was put on the spot and had to come clean.
Even though he probably knew I wasn't a virgin, I had to explain why I didn't want to have sex.
I began to use my celibacy as a cop- out to avoid intimacy. I had set a personal goal to go six months without sex, and I was unwilling to compromise that for anyone.
To my relief, he understood. We stayed together for two more months, and sex wasn't an issue.
While sex isn't everything in a relationship, it plays a big role in most. If you and your parnter aren't on the same level sexually, it can cause serious problems.
You should never be pressured into an uncomfortable situation that you might regret later. At the same time, eveyone has their own sexual needs, so it might be hard to pursue a relationship where sex and intimacy are constant problems.
You don't want to compromise yourself, but your partner may have desires that need to be fulfilled.
But before you worry too much about sex, remember that personality matters too. Personality and sex have a very strong correlation, and it is possible to find some middle ground.
If that mental connection is good enough for you and your partner, and you've already gone through the 12-step sex detoxification plan to remove the physical aspect, then you can do it.
