Imagine this: You're a 12-year-old stud pitcher. Your fastball has steam. Your curveball has motion. You are even developing a changeup that glides with grace.
Nobody can hit you. You leave other 12- and 13-year-olds wishing they had stayed home to play Halo.
Then, one day before practice, the big sluggers from the local state championship high school team come and challenge you. Naturally, you accept.
You rear back and let go the sickest fastball you can. Boom. Out of the park with a snicker from the high schooler.
Not so tough anymore, are you?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why Gainesville is not TitleTown USA. I don't doubt Gainesville on the college scene. Gator fans are as crazy as they come, and UF certainly has had unprecedented success in the past few years: A remarkable football championship with a quarterback who now can barely find a home in the Canadian Football League. Back-to-back men's basketball championships from players who, before the 2006 season, were expected to be playing in the NIT at the end of the season. That 2006-07 run will probably never happen again.
It's just too bad for Gainesville that it's called TitleTown USA and not the King of Small Town USA. Sorry, Gators, but you can't hang with the giants, the big sluggers, of New York, Los Angeles or Boston. Gainesville certainly holds great stories. Even in just covering UF sports for the past few years, I've seen remarkable athletic skill and heart from athletes and coaches I highly respect.
But 26 championships from the New York Yankees alone almost trump what UF has accomplished. If the Yankees don't, then add in the titles the New York Mets have won. And the New York Jets. And the Giants. And the Knicks. And the Rangers. And the Islanders.
You get my point.
Trust me, I would very much like to agree with Erin Andrews, but a few muscle flexes the past few years don't overtake the history of major metropolises that have lasted for decades. L.A. has the Lakers' ridiculous number of titles and John Wooden making the rest of college basketball look like Division II during his tenure at UCLA, and Wayne Gretzky graced L.A. with his presence for eight years.
Tim Tebow's tears could cure cancer, but they couldn't have penetrated Wooden's zone defense.
As shocking as UF's football dismantling was against Ohio State, the New England Patriots' upset of the Rams was even greater. And if you want to take away a point from the Patriots for their loss in last season's Super Bowl, you need to give a point to the New York Giants.
As much fun as it is to look and say, "Aw, aren't those college towns nice and sweet?" you aren't blown away. Looking at the history of the other towns blows you away. I would love to sit here and say that Massillon (that took too long to spell to be seriously considered), Ohio, should be a contender for TitleTown with their nine national high school football championships, but I can't. It's great entertainment to watch the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pa., and it'd be great for those kids to say they got to play in TitleTown USA. And I'd love to tell them that they did, but I won't.
It'd be great to sit here and tell you that an underdog should win this contest, but I don't want to watch ESPN scramble to try to find a legitimate excuse for this happening. TitleTown USA means the home of champions, and unfortunately, the home of champions is where the most championships are won.
