Joakim Noah lives.
Nope, sorry, the ponytail flopping, air-guitar playing big man isn't back in Gainesville.
It's just that his 6-foot-11, 232-pound framed spirit has been shrink wrapped and compressed into 4-foot-10-and-a-half Amanda Castillo and 4-foot-11-and-a-half Melanie Sinclair.
The equation breaks down as follows:
Noah + five pounds of sugar + the ability to do a split + more feminine looks (nothing personal, Jo) = one very hyper, extremely talented, loud-yet-humble national-contending team.
These women have changed the program.
UF has almost always been a good - borderline great at times - team, but not like this.
On Feb. 15, I was going to support my friends' band at a battle of the bands on campus. It was a Friday night, and I went to park at the Keys Residential Complex, where I knew there was always plenty of parking on weekend nights. I couldn't find a spot.
There was no basketball game, and baseball season was still a week away.
Um, what?
It was a gymnastics meet. That's what these women have done.
They made me search for parking on campus on a Friday night.
"When I look at other teams and compare our team to other teams, we definitely have what no other team has," Corey Hartung said of the energy. "We always notice that. Everybody else is jealous and everybody else wants (what we have). We don't want to be boring or lame.
"Ashley Reed was telling me one time her freshman year there was half as many people in the audience as now."
Before practice Wednesday, Faehn told her team about a time in her college career when her coach wasn't seeing her energy up to its normal level, so her coach sent her to the concession stand for a cupcake. When asked if she would ever consider doing that to one of her girls, she laughed and said it would send them on too much of a sugar high.
That's true for most people, but I doubt Faehn can find a way to calm down Castillo or Sinclair. I'm guessing their elementary school teachers failed miserably at keeping those two from running around.
While Faehn was doing her team announcements, Sinclair let out a "WOOHOO" after an apparently exciting announcement.
"It's just my personality," Castillo said. "I'm extremely extroverted. I don't care who's watching. Sometimes I feel when I'm down, the team is down. My position here is being loud and having fun."
They even have groupies.
Seriously.
There are Facebook pictures to prove it.
There is a picture of Hartung with her fan base holding a sign that says "Corey 'Hammer-Time' Hartung" - and that picture was taken on the road.
No, I don't know what it means, but it doesn't matter.
The point is that this program and team have become so popular that they have fans that travel on the road, paint their faces and make signs.
"Last year when people started making signs, I didn't come in thinking that (would happen)," Castillo said. "People see that I love doing what I love, so it draws attention. It's something new and different."
Sinclair says she laughs 20 times a day. So let's break this down.
That's 21,900 laughs, giggles or potential snorts that have come from UF's captain in her three years in Gainesville. That's 7,300 a year, 140 a week and almost one an hour. Tim Tebow doesn't get autograph requests that often. Throughout a 4-minute interview, Sinclair even burst out laughing with Castillo on a few occasions.
Apparently, it's all about the vitamins
"I take my vitamins," said Sinclair, once again holding back a laugh. "Vitamins help.
"I'm a loud, fun person that loves to be energetic, sarcastic. If everyone was dead (it wouldn't be as fun)."
Added Faehn, "Who wants to be around people that are stuck in the mud and have no personality? Everybody wants (energy)."
I suggest you take a lesson from these women. Their attitudes might make them national champions. It might make you a happier person. As for me? I'll let you know once I find a place to park.