This week was chock full of antics that made us feel like we were drifting back to our days on the elementary school playground. With UF's Student Government elections came the usual name-calling, and there were even a few grown-ups who displayed more than their fair share of immaturity. So, live from the sandbox, we bring you this week's edition of…
Our liar-liar-pants-on-fire DART goes to state Sen. Mike Haridopolos and his super-stylized hair for misrepresenting his academic credentials after bagging a $75,000 lecturer position in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. He said he was pursuing a doctorate in history at the University of Arkansas, but that institution revealed that he hasn't been enrolled there since 2000. On Wednesday, Haridopolos conveniently mentioned that he is planning to move his research to Florida State University. This scant progress over eight years is not the norm for someone pursuing a Ph.D., despite what UF officials are saying in their efforts to do major damage control.
On that more important note, we throw a someone-didn't-watch-enough-episodes-of-Inspector-Gadget DART to CLAS' Interim Dean Joe Glover for hiring Haridopolos in the first place. Glover says that Haridopolos' degree status never came up in the interview process. Maybe no one ever told him that once you're in a hole, you've got to stop digging. This only makes it blindingly clear that faculty hiring should remain squarely in the hands of the faculty.
UF President Machen needing a friend in Tallahassee simply isn't a good enough reason to insult and ignore current professors by hiring an overpaid, under-qualified and extremely busy politician amid budget cuts. The allegations against Haridopolos' academic integrity alone should be enough for UF to revoke his contract immediately.
Though they only lost 10 Student Senate seats, the waa-waa-sore-loser-tattletale DART goes to the Gator Party for filing 27 complaints against the Orange and Blue Party for election codes violations. The complaints included petty issues like a "paid political advertisement" phrase missing from Orange and Blue's signs and Web site. SG Deputy Chief of Staff - and Gator Party volunteer - Ryan Day said the repeated violations suggest it was a "calculated move" by Orange and Blue. Well, at least they tried a bit of subtlety, and we don't think that's nearly as bad as, say, giving people doughnuts so they'll vote for you. Can't you just smoke your pompous cigars and continue celebrating without subjecting us to more of the same negative campaign crap? Way to set the tone for your administration.
Next up, the you-must-have-been-the-kids-who-stole-lunch-money DART goes to Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity members Benjamin Berteau and Peter Kimmel who sent "Godfather"-style e-mails to a Chi Phi Fraternity member who apparently urinated on SAE's lion statue. It wasn't enough for them to commit second- and third-degree felonies, but they also had to drag Terry Schiavo into their mess. Kimmel told police he never had the intention to harm the guy, and was only trying to "mess with his head." Nice try. But, that kind of behavior will get you onto a whole new playground - in the prison yard.
Finally, we can't end without giving a maybe-it's-the-same-guy-who-keeps-candy-in-his-van-and-hangs-out-by-the-swing-set DART to whoever posted videos of college women's rears on the University of Central Florida and University of Florida campuses. While videotaping people in public isn't necessarily illegal, we're guessing "kingbootyhunter" wasn't on a college tour for academic reasons.
