Somewhere between Silly Bandz and clothes for dogs, "Netflix and chill" lies on the list of stupid trends.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with this phrase — such as Hulu subscribers and my parents — "Netflix and chill" has become a popular euphemism for "come to my place and kill time until we feel comfortable doing what we both came here to do, which is hook up."
Just in April of this year, there were zero news headlines about "Netflix and chill," but so far in September, there have been upwards of 100, according to Google Trends.
Despite the undisputable trend, I have a lot of questions. Most importantly: Do people actually do this to get laid, or is it all just something that we joke about but don’t actually do, like waiting an hour after eating to go swimming? How does the process work? Is there a set amount of time that we watch Netflix for, or do I just awkwardly sit there, nervous and internally sweating, until someone finally makes a move? And why did we decide on Netflix as the foreplay to sex in the first place? Why can we not "HBOGo and chill?" Perhaps you can try inviting someone over for "Scrabble and chill." Wouldn’t "talk about our mutual interests and chill" work just as well?
I suppose I might be biased, because "Netflix and chill" does not register as fun, sexy times for me. One requires nice underwear and shaved legs, the other usually involves me lying in bed all day alone wearing macaroni-and-cheese-stained pajamas.
I prefer to do my Netflix and chilling by myself, where no one can judge me for my bad taste in movies — to be fair, I’m not going to want to have sex with someone who does not appreciate the high quality of "Legally Blonde," anyway. But I don’t want to have to explain my choice in guilty-pleasure TV, nor do I want to be interrupted, 20 minutes in, with an unrequested erection pressed into my back.
I take my Netflix binging seriously. Why hook up when we could marathon "Bob’s Burgers?" If you invite me to "Netflix and chill," that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Don’t try to talk to me; I’m trying to pay attention to the show. Stop trying to put your arm around me. And no, I don’t want to take off my shirt to "get more comfortable."
Plus, think of how many half-watched movies our generation will see if we keep this up. No one will ever know how a film ends because they’ll be busy with the "and chill" portion of the evening.
Can’t we just stop kidding ourselves? I understand that "rough sex and chill" is not really as palatable, but can’t we just be honest about our intentions? This is where "Netflix and chill" becomes more serious. Yes, it’s a funny thing to joke about, but if you’re using it as a serious means to hook up, it’s inviting someone over under false pretenses.
You’re using "Netflix and chill" as a nice way of saying that you want them to come over and hook up, but they might not realize that and believe they’re actually coming over just to, well, watch Netflix and chill.
This is a little problematic in that both parties have different expectations. The other person might feel as if you deceived him or her or as if you’re pressuring him or her into doing something that wasn't planned on.
It’s just another way that hookup culture has taken over our society. Not everything has to be about sex; not every hangout has to involve a hookup. I don’t want to be invited over to watch Netflix with a friend and worry the whole night whether he's going to make a move. It’s really not a cool — excuse me, chill— thing to do.
If you want to hook up, either say that or ask someone out on a date.
Meanwhile, I’m going to keep Netflix and chilling by myself… and maybe a box of pizza.
Robyn Smith is a journalism senior. Her columns appear on Fridays.
