When his parents asked about what they found on the family computer’s research history, Anthony Dretzka denied everything.
When he was 14, Dretzka, now 20, was researching information about what it means to be gay to make sense of the feelings he was having; they were feelings nobody had ever taught him.
His parents saw the search history and confronted him and his brother. His mom cried. His dad yelled. And it was clear to Dretzka that he would never be able to tell his parents who he really was.
Dretzka, a family, youth and community science junior, was on the Plaza of the Americas Monday afternoon celebrating National Coming Out Day, hosted by the UF’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Affairs.
National Coming Out Day was founded in 1988, according to A.C. Stokes, director of LGBT Affairs. It’s a celebration of the LGBTQ community and the importance of having a positive coming out experience, Stokes said.
The highlight of the day’s festivities was the debut of the Out Project, a display of 80 anonymous postcards collected between January and October. They’re decorated with messages and illustrations about the fears and joys related to the coming out experience.
“Coming out is not something to be taken lightly,” said Steven Sweat, a second-year graduate student and director of the Out Project.
The postcards are meant to start discussions about coming out and to let the LGBTQ community members of Gainesville know they are supported, Sweat said.
Dretzka, who came out to his best friend in October last year, says he still lives a double life. When he goes home, he has to pretend he’s somebody he’s not. In Gainesville, though, he can be himself.
He’s training to be part of an outreach group that shares its personal experiences, including coming out stories, in an effort to make new or uncertain members of the LGBTQ community more comfortable with the process.
“An event like this really helps,” said Dretzka. “It lets you know you’re not alone.”
